Post navigation

Blog, Email, Grammar, How-To, Marketing

No, Seriously: KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE!

I’ve written before about why businesses need to know their customers and write for them accordingly.

It just surprises me — a lot — when they don’t.

I got this email this morning with the subject Affordable Blog Writing Offer!:

Hi
I hope you are doing well.

I would like to present one our Blog posting package to you for your website boost in Search Engines and Social Media both. It has been noticed that businesses that blog regularly receive 60% more visitors to their website and better Google caching, crawling and indexing in Google.

We have an expert team of content writing who writes effective blogs with 100% uniqueness and originality with Copyscape checked. If you want to increase traffic to your website with custom and informative blog posting then we have Great Christmas super affordable packages for you starting at US $70 only.

Here are the contents of our Starter Blog Posting Package:

  • No. of Blogs: 10
  • No. of Words per Blog: 300
  • Search Engine Optimized
  • Copyscape Passed Blogs
  • 100% Originality
  • Well Researched Content
  • 100% Copyright Ownership

Let me know if you are interested and I would happy to send you more details on this.

Thanks & Regards,

Aarti Sani
Online Marketing Consultant

What’s Wrong With This Marketing Email?

Aside from the obvious fact that writing is what I do for a living, and despite the fact that this is a completely unsolicited marketing email, here’s what’s wrong, in red:

Hi (who, me?)
I hope you are doing well.

I would like to present one our Blog posting package to you for your website boost in Search Engines and Social Media both. It has been noticed (“it has been noticed” — really? Who noticed it? If you want me to take you seriously, don’t use crappy passive voice; write something like “In a 2014 study [link that text to the study], search engine optimization experts discovered that businesses that blog regularly…”) that businesses that blog regularly receive 60% more visitors to their website and better Google caching, crawling and indexing in Google. See, even if your email was pertinent to me — even if I would buy blog posts for my own website — your abuse of capital letters and your failure to write in the active voice , as well as your inability to form a coherent, easy-to-read sentence, I wouldn’t buy from you… because you can’t write.

We have an expert team of content writing who writes (expert team of content writing? Do you mean team of content-writing experts?) effective blogs with 100% uniqueness and originality with Copyscape checked (you mean that you check using Copyscape? Also, you only have to use Copyscape if you’re dealing with bottom-of-the-barrel writers who may plagiarize… so no, thanks.). If you want to increase traffic to your website with custom and informative blog posting then we have Great Christmas (last I checked, it was September 20) super affordable (super-affordable) packages for you starting at US $70 only (starting at only $70, you mean.).

Here are the contents of our Starter Blog Posting Package:

  • No. of Blogs: 10 (Seriously? $7 per post? That price certainly reflects the quality you’ll deliver.)
  • No. of Words per Blog: 300 (Let me just say this: a blog is an entire entity. A blog post is one post. One more time: a blog is the entire collection of posts; a blog post is just one document that belongs ON a blog.)
  • Search Engine Optimized
  • Copyscape Passed Blogs (Copyscape-passed, and it’s blog posts.)
  • 100% Originality (Isn’t that what you’re saying when you say the posts can pass Copyscape? You’re being redundant.)
  • Well Researched Content (Well-researched. And yeah, right… for $7 per post? Haha.)
  • 100% Copyright Ownership (Naturally, when you pay for something, you own it.)

Let me know if you are interested and I would happy to send you more details on this.

Thanks & Regards, (I hate the ampersand in professional communication. It makes you seem so lazy.)

Aarti Sani
Online Marketing Consultant

I’m really tired of getting marketing emails. Maybe if any of the emails I got actually pertained to me, I’d be interested… but that’s not the worst of it.

The worst is that these marketing emails are completely ineffective. When you’re selling writing, your talent has to be obvious — and you have to target your emails properly. This mass email isn’t targeted at anyone in particular, and they’ve wasted a colossal amount of time putting it together.

I sure hope they didn’t waste $7 on it.

Don’t make yourself look stupid. If you’re marketing, research what you’re doing or hire someone who knows how to do it correctly.

About Angie Papple Johnston

Angie Papple Johnston was formally trained as a journalist by the U.S. Army and now makes her living writing engaging and informative B2B and B2C sales copy, website content, press releases and more. Connect with Angie on Google+, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn.